By Nicholl McGuire

Before you file your divorce paperwork, be sure your life is planned in the way that you want others to view it– positive, stable and politically correct. If you have to change everything about who you are for the sake of your children, then do it. Your strategy in a divorce is to make yourself look as if you “got it together.” Don’t divorce if you know the odds are not in your favor, no matter how much you would like to get rid of your spouse. The following actions will definitely put you in a position that you don’t want to be in, so avoid them:

1. Telling your ex and others that may know your ex about the new man/woman you are seeing. Parading around town with him or her months after filing for the divorce.

2. Becoming pregnant or getting someone pregnant while married or within a year after your divorce.

3. Relocate without the children even if it is temporary.

4. Talk to his/her in-laws about your relationship.

5. Tell mutual friends about your intentions.


6. Forget to record phone calls or videotape moments that could damage his/her opportunity to have the children.

7. Show up in court without an attorney.

8. Listen to bad advice, particularly from people who have not gone through what you are going through.

9. No financial or mental support from church, family or friends.

10. No significant money saved in a savings account, stocks, mutual funds, CDs, or IRAs.

11. Children are not involved in any activities while in your care.

12. You are not involved in any nonprofit, civic or charitable organizations.

13. No driver’s license.

14. No job.

15. Acquired new incidents on your police record.

16. Be seen out in the public drinking.

17. Do drugs.

18. Have friends who participate in illegal activities.

19. Write or sign anything that could be used against you in court such as hate letters, informal documents, notes, etc.

20. Be irresponsible such as miss doctor’s appointments, take the children to dangerous places, have too many caretakers, work long hours, etc.

21. Being physically and emotionally abusive.

About the Author: Nicholl McGuire, Freelance Writer, mother of four and divorced. To access your current situation, visit:

Should You Stay or Should You Go?


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